The Positives of Reading Smut: Sex Positivity

What is Sex Positivity?

Simply put, it is an attitude and philosophy that recognizes sexuality as a natural, healthy, and diverse part of the human experience.

*Reading smut is disgusting, distasteful, sinful. It is damaging to relationships. It sets unrealistic expectations. It’s harmful and addicting. It’s basically just reading porn…blah blah blah.

As someone who enjoys spicy, “open door” romance, I often come across unfair stereotypes and negative reactions—even from fellow readers—who dismiss this content. In my experience, many of the people who criticize smut or erotica as distasteful are those who have never actually read it and tend to hold more rigid or judgmental views about sex and intimacy. Of course, this isn’t universally true, but it’s a recurring pattern I’ve noticed in my interactions. These preconceived ideas often overlook the emotional depth, character development, and exploration of complex themes that many of these stories offer.

Reading smut has also often been dismissed as excessive or taboo, but for me, it has been a powerful tool in developing a healthy, sex-positive mindset. Exploring stories that delve into desire, intimacy, and sensuality—whether in dark romance, contemporary romance, or some level of fantasy—has helped me view sex not as something to shy away from but as a natural part of human life.

How has reading smut affected me?

Reading smut has contributed to my sex positivity mindset by normalizing sexual expression. Dark romance narratives, in general, explore a variety of fantasies, kinks, and identities. As I encountered characters with diverse sexual needs, I grew more comfortable with the idea that everyone’s desires are unique and valid. This shift in mindset freed me from judgment, both of myself and others, furthering an attitude of acceptance.

Moreover, smut gave me permission to explore without self-judgment. Society often places narrow expectations on what it means to be sexually desirable or “normal.” However, the variations of experiences depicted in smut—from tender, emotional connections to wild and experimental encounters—made it clear that there’s no one right way to express yourself sexually as long as there is consent. 

How has reading smut impacted my relationship?

I’ve often heard people argue that reading smut can be harmful to relationships, suggesting it sets unrealistic expectations or creates dissatisfaction. However, my experience has been quite the opposite. For me, it has actually added value to my relationship. The key takeaway from my perspective is that communication and trust play a crucial role in making sure it’s a positive influence rather than a negative one.

Without open conversations about boundaries, desires, and fantasies, I can understand how this kind of material could cause problems and make one or both parties feel insecure. But with trust and open, honest dialogue, it becomes an opportunity for exploration rather than a source of frustration.

If you let it, reading smut can spark conversations about intimacy and deepen emotional connections, rather than diminish them. As I became more comfortable with my own sexuality through these stories, I found that my confidence grew, which translated into more meaningful and exciting moments with my partner. I like this change in me, and I know my partner would agree. Ultimately, reading smut has encouraged a healthy dialogue about pleasure and shared fantasies, strengthening our relationship on multiple levels.

Is “addiction” to reading smut harmful?

Yet another misconception I’ve heard again and again is that being addicted to reading smut is very harmful. On the contrary, being addicted to reading smut is not inherently harmful as long as it is balanced with other aspects of life. Like any hobby, engaging deeply with a genre that brings enjoyment and emotional fulfillment can be a healthy outlet. Smut, in particular, can serve as a way to explore fantasies, enhance self-awareness, and promote a sex-positive mindset. It also provides readers with an accessible form of escapism, stress relief, and even personal growth through exposure to themes of intimacy. As long as it doesn’t interfere with daily responsibilities, relationships, or mental well-being, indulging in smut can be a harmless, and even beneficial, part of someone’s lifestyle.

But let’s be honest, as an avid reader I think all of my fellow book worms and book dragons would agree that we may tend to choose reading over daily responsibilities now and then anyway, smut or no smut. But I digress.

How have I gained sex positivity through reading smut?

Perhaps the most valuable gift reading smut gave me was comfort in my own skin. It taught me that sexual pleasure isn’t just physical but deeply tied to self-acceptance and confidence. Embracing my desires and shedding the shame around them has made me feel more connected to myself—and that sense of comfort radiates into other areas of my life, including my relationship and self-image.

I stumbled upon “open door” romance novels—that eventually led me down the dark romance path—by accident. I call it a happy accident. It was eye opening and I never looked back. The smut reader community has played a significant role in fostering openness around sex positivity by creating a space where we can freely discuss desires, fantasies, and relationships without judgment. By highlighting diverse experiences, orientations, and kinks within literature, the smut community celebrates body positivity, personal autonomy, and the right to express one’s desires openly and confidently.