The Most Taboo F Word
Come on, say it with me. It shouldn’t be a dirty word.
Fat.
I remember reading an Olivia Dade book a few years ago and realizing that she called her character fat and I felt appalled by it at first. But why should I be? It’s a descriptor like anything else…hair color, eye color, height…nothing someone should be ashamed of, right? The more I read Olivia’s books, the more I realized that not only was her character fat, but she was content with her body and her life. She was gorgeous and on top of the world, nothing was out of reach. It was in that moment that I saw the person I wished I could be in real life and I’ve been working toward that every day.
As a bookstagrammer who lives in a bigger body, there are often things I struggle with internally. I’ve been shamed my entire life for being fat, from others and from myself. I struggle with my own self esteem daily, even posting photos of myself on my page is often a hard thing to do. I fight with myself on images that I feel show too much of myself or an angle I hate, often more critical of myself than a stranger on the internet would be, but that fear is always there. The fear of being bullied for merely existing is something that lives in the back of my mind every time I hit post. The fatphobia that I’ve experienced in my life is only a fraction of what some have, but it is sadly alive and well in this world and in this community.
To combat these feelings, I’m always on the hunt for books that have characters who are not only plus sized, but who are in love with their bodies, thriving in their lives. Why is this often something that is harder to find than it should be? Like other readers, I often want to see characters like myself in books, even if that isn’t someone I am right now, but someone I strive to be. A person shouldn’t feel they have to alter themselves to fit into the mold of someone people wish they were. Finding a MC who is fearless and brave, and totally comfortable in their own body, makes me feel a bit better about myself some days. And why wouldn’t we want that feeling for everyone?
In the past when I’ve found a character I adore for all these reasons, it often becomes the center of an argument in many bookish spaces. The number of times I’ve heard the “plus sized people can’t” debate has become far too common. Yes, fat people can be healthy, run, ride horses, and do literally anything else. Fat people can have someone obsess over them, want to burn the world for them. They can do anything they set their mind to and this is something we should seek to normalize within the book community. Fat people deserve to be loved. Limitations like these are automatically assigned where they shouldn’t be and this is harmful behavior within the community. Not only does it continue to externalize fatphobia, but it forces a lot of people out of our own comfort zones when the only other option is to continue to let these things fester and grow more toxic. So we have a choice, stay silent or speak up. Either is a tough choice to make and comes with its own consequences. I’ve seen people double down on their arguments, often more times than I’ve seen anyone admit wrongdoing. It’s one of many slippery slopes that exist here in the bookish community that is often overlooked.
Another slippery slope I’ve often discovered is found in some bookish art. I absolutely love and collect bookish art for many books I love. Sometimes it’s hard to find art that hasn’t been altered for canonically plus sized characters. This is often where the aforementioned confrontations begin. Someone doesn’t have to be thin to be beautiful, but when character art does not match a character’s description, in any way, this is sending the message that there is something wrong with that character’s existence, as they are. This is never something that is ok for someone to feel. There’s enough space here for everyone to see themselves in a character and for everyone to be accurately represented.
The fight for representation doesn’t just end with a character existing between the covers of a book and encompasses a variety of representation we should see in our books. We should continue to strive for diversity and positivity in all forms within reader spaces. A goal of mine is to read diversely as much as I can. Reading about characters who don’t look like you is just as important as reading about ones who do. We all deal with internal and external struggles when it comes to diversity. The fatphobia that still exists in the community is merely one of those.
While there are a myriad of downfalls that exist in bookish spaces, I’ve always found that sometimes you have to dig a little deeper, but you’ll find what you are looking for. There are many authors who will fight to the death to defend the diversity of their characters, and artists who will portray them as they were written. If anyone wants recs, I’ll always have some. I’ve added a few below that I’ve read and recommend, as well as some on my TBR. Some of these authors are also amazing advocates of plus sized characters in most, if not all of their works, so do check them out.
Book Recommendations:
Come Out, Come Out by Alexia Onyx
Lady Venom Takes a Mistress by Kat Blackthorne
The Heart-Breaker by Sara Cate
Eyes on Me by Sara Cate
Death’s Obsession by Avina St. Graves
Electric Idol by Katee Robert
Her Halloween Desires by CC Monroe
Goal by Alexandria House
From Blood and Ash series by Jennifer L Armentrout
Flesh and Fire series by Jennifer L Armentrout
All The Feels by Olivia Dade
Spotlight on Poppy by Mary Warren
Mixing Up Mayhem by Heather Nix
Curves for Days by Lauren Moher
One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston
On my TBR:
Evie by Rose Cedar
Breathe For Me by Brittany Ann
Tempt by Melanie Harlow
Playing for Keeps by Tristen Crone
The Alliance Series by SJ Tilly
On The Plus Side by Jenny L Howe
The Vampire in the Bookstore by Elle M Drew
Mother Faker by Britaneé Nicole
The C*ck Down the Block by Amy Award
Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert
Between Wrath and Mercy by Jess Wisecup
I Like You Like That by Kayla Grosse
Vengeance Becomes Her by Alexis Maness
Camera Shy by Kay Cove
When Life Gives You Vampires by Gloria Duke