As a dark romance girl, I know I love a good morally grey villain, who just wants to burn the world down for their love interest, take out their enemies, do whatever necessary to make their life better. However, I know I’d definitely prefer if these villains stayed in fiction and didn’t enter the real life chat.

We are living in scary, unknown times right now in the real world and I too am one to dissociate with some fiction, but some of it doesn’t hit the same anymore. Billionaires, don’t even wanna touch them now. Men in general are even very questionable most days…half of the books I’ve read so far this year have been sapphic. However, the issues that are happening right now can’t be ignored. If you’ve read any fantasy book, I’m sure you’ve read about a corrupt ruler who rules by fear and we are currently living that. Trust me, I did not sign up to be in this book and I do not consider myself an expert in any way. As someone who was taught how to protest things I didn’t believe in at a young age (as long as it wasn’t church), I feel like I could at least help a bit by knowing how to sort out the absolute overwhelming bursts of information coming at you.

My Hamilton obsessed brain wishes I could do this in the style of Ten Duel Commandments, but alas I am not Lin-Manuel Miranda. But you should totally watch Hamilton, 10/10 and quite relevant right now.

I know, I know, you’re probably like me and you’ve had a tummy ache since January 20th and the stress makes you wanna throw up a bit, but this is me, the Pot, telling you to not be the Kettle. I can look at my own experience and know I’m not doing myself favors by being this stressed, so my hope is to help you lessen yours.

The amount of incoming legislation and executive orders is a lot to take in, it’s a lot to read through and even the most googling makes it hard to understand. There’s a lot of absurdity with smoke and mirrors. That’s intentional. Overwhelmed people don’t know where to start, how to organize their own thoughts, let alone do something about it. So, where do you start? Pick an issue, something you genuinely want to see changed. Focus on that issue. You’ve got loads of options as they are attacking a bulk of social issues. Is it reproductive care? Immigration? Trans and LGBTQIA2S+ rights? Gun control? Pick one and focus your energy there. If you’re like me with a strong sense of justice and a bleeding heart, you’re going to want to take on more. If you feel like you’ve gotten a good grasp on that and want to take on another issue, great, but start with a single issue, learn what you can.

If you go to the congress website, it’s fairly simple to search for key words in legislation, such as abortion. Learn what key words they like to use in titles, because sometimes they do word them in a tricky way. The key words should pick up even if they’ve changed the titles, as they often do. Make a list to keep up with the legislation. In barely a month, we’ve already got 22+ pages of legislation, each with 100 per page. It’s a lot to try to scroll through, so learn how to search for what you want to see. Also, make sure you’ve narrowed down what’s in the current congress, the 119th. Your search will pull up every bill ever on the issue, so you want to make sure you’re targeting the correct ones.

Do not use Wikipedia, I beg you. Find some reputable sources that can help explain what exactly is being affected by this change. If a bill reads that it would amend article 14 of the constitution, that’s the 14th Amendment. If it says it’s going to add something to Title 18 of the United States Code, that’s what affects criminal law. I know it’s a whole lot of legal, fancy jargon, but give it a read, see what the implications of the proposed law are, because that’s going to give you a starting point toward combating it. The more info you can find, the better you’ll know what to tackle.

Find your congresspeople’s information. It’s quite simple to do. There’s a place on the Congress website to do it, most Representatives and Senators have a website where you can submit your opinions on items. Some of them limit you to certain characters (an issue I had recently with my two page letter), so just explore. Also know you can check out what your congressperson is voting for and sponsoring. Hold them accountable for that, praise and degrade as necessary, but don’t get yourself on a watchlist.

When I’m sending a letter, I usually send it to all three of my reps. Even if it hasn’t made it to the Senate, I just assume it will. At best, it’s unnecessary. At worst, it’s preemptive.

I’ve also recently discovered there’s a website that allows you to contact your reps at the same time. It’s a quick and easy way to do so and I think it makes the process less overwhelming. The website is democracy.io, and I’ll link it at the bottom. It’s pretty self explanatory how to fill it out, but I’ve included some screenshots.

This is the hard part. You’ve picked an issue, you’ve found the legislation, you’ve found how to contact your representatives…now what? I personally prefer to write letters versus call, because I am a millennial first and foremost and will avoid a phone call like the plague. If you want something simple, there are templates online you can use to know what to say. I always start by saying “I am writing today concerning {H.R. # : description of the title of the bill}.” And then I list my reasons I do or don’t support it and usually things I suspect haven’t been considered, especially when it comes to laws about reproductive health.

I always try to end my letter by saying that I hope they consider what I’ve said when voting on the issue. Will they? Who knows. But I can hit send and know that by law someone has to read my letter and that makes me feel like I’m making a difference, even if in the smallest ways. Usually when you submit, there’s a little check box that asks if you want to receive a response and I always say yes.

It’s going to be a very long four years and the best outcome we can hope for is some changes in congress at midterms, flipping the control of some of the legislative branch. Until then, we fight. But if it gets overwhelming and you need to take breaks, do it. Nobody is on here telling you what to do, merely giving you suggestions on how to handle it if you want to do it. It’s up to you what you can handle and nobody can make that choice for you.

I haven’t had many good nights of sleep since the election and this is what I’m doing to try to appease the internal sense of justice that is making me physically ill. There are loads of ways to affect change that aren’t this. Read diversely, read banned books, uplift voices that are try to change things, sign petitions. Keeping yourself safe and sane is the number one priority and that’s hard right now.

I repeat that I am by no means an expert and sometimes the letters I write take on a life of their own. But I feel like doing something helps me feel like I’m contributing. And don’t forget to keep an eye on what’s happening on the state levels too. The overturning of Roe v. Wade was said to put things back in the hands of the states and some states are abusing that to pass cruel laws. Keep your eyes open to what’s happening around you, but only take on what you can.

The morally grey men in the real world aren’t going anywhere and are likely going to be emboldened further, thinking they are entitled to women’s time and energy. I’ve already seen it happening and have had it happen personally. Stay strong and fight the patriarchy (please take a self defense class in case you ever need to physically do so), and if the real life men get to be too much, I’ve got loads of sapphic recs. Trust me morally grey women just hit different right now.