Misconceptions of Dark Romance
Dark romance, half of us perk up when we hear about the genre, some turn their nose up to it. It is controversy at its finest.
So let me start with this.
People are always going to have opinions, most of the time they are hateful opinions because they don’t understand it. In this society, no one wants to prove their opinion right, they just want to be the loudest voice. They dont fact check what they say, or even have a strong stance on it. They throw shade on the dark romance genre because while it may prove to be too dark or extreme for some, for others it is a healing path, that can sometimes be better than therapy.
While it is 2025, and we always say, “Don’t yuck anothers yum”, I have found that the dark romance community as a whole does not judge as harshly as other romance genres do. Now, Im not saying there isnt drama, or judgement or hate, but I find dark romance readers are more open to discuss kinks, traumas, tropes, etc then others. We dont clutch our pearls as often as others.
I am not saying dark romance is the superior genre. What I am saying is each genre has its own style and way. Each genre has its pros and cons. But I also dont find many dark romance readers one star bombing authors because they failed to read a trigger warning list or content warning list. In fact, thats usually the first thing we look for, even if we have no known triggers. We have advocated for trigger warnings and content warnings to always be placed in a book, regardless of genre.
The hate that is received towards dark romance is usually conveyed in someone saying, “You are sick in the head” or “You need therapy” or “But you are glorifying rape”
Let me say this - Calling someone sick in the head for diving into a fiction novel and liking it even though it has darker undertones is picking at low hanging fruit. Saying someone needs therapy because someone reads a fiction book that helps them through a trauma that they may be in therapy for, is just picking and being a bully. And last but not least, saying we are glorifying rape, well that TRULY shows that you have never ONCE picked up a dark romance novel with an open mind, because one of the biggest things, is CONSENT. CNC - Consensual Non Consent ; Dub Con - Dubious Consent, etc.
When I entered back into the reading world in 2020, I knew my preferences, I knew my past reads, and yes I even took some booktok suggestions, but as the community grew, and as more and more authors started appearing to me, I found my actual niche. My comfort genre. It was dark romance. As someone who has lived one hell of a life, with many battles, both silent and loudly, I found comfort in the characters I read about. I found comfort in them getting over their traumas, of having the ability to embrace their darker sides, of them acting on their rage, as well as finding the one man that would stand beside her as she burned it all to the ground, or threw the match she lit for the world to burn.
Our tastes in genres make us unique, and if more people would go into a book open minded, regardless of the genre, they might just find an author they truly love. Dark romance is my main jam, but I also love Mafia, I love Dark Fantasy, I love Taboo, I love Splatter Punk, and yes, I have been known to even love a good contemporary story and fantasy book. It’s all about having an absolute open mind. Its about not looking at a cover or blurb and going “Ew” right off the bat.
We say dont judge a book by its cover, but so often we do. I have friends that have looked at my bookshelves and been terrified, until I have handed them one of them and said, “Just give it a shot” and know what happened? They ended up finding their new favorite book, or a new author whose backlist that they want to dive into.
I actually spoke to a couple of dark romance authors and asked them the simple question of, “why do you write dark romance?’
Darma Day said, “”Reading and writing in general become a form of escape for me. And the emotions that came with dark romance healed a part of my trauma I’d buried a long time ago. So now I write it in hopes to give others that same cathartic experience”
Kinsley Kincaid said, “It makes me happy! I smile during the most insane parts as fucked as it sounds, its exciting. Its where I thrive and it feeds my soul, serves my energy and contributes to my purpose”
I believe no matter how much people praise dark romance and the fact it can be healing and cathartic for some, that people will still find a reason to say something negative about it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but there comes a point when that opinion feels more like a witch hunt. When I say witch hunt, I mean some people with an opinion against dark romance going as far to review bomb, and mass report the author. Accounts that are dark romance based, yeah those get mass reported too.
We live in a digital age where everyone has a great platform to voice their opinion. Voice their love, their hate, all of it. It’s what we do with that platform that matters. I know life isnt all rainbows, but I also know that educating, having a decent conversation, and actually listening with open ears and an open mind go a long way.
It kills me at times to see people with such huge platforms, just spew hate on a genre or a book they just didnt like. Makes me want to just say, “Do Better”. But it is what it is.
I know this article may not sit well with some, and thats okay. To others, it may make them go, EXACTLY! Either side of where you stand, just do better. Life and the world is already a shit show as it is, don’t come after what someone reads and finds joy in. Be better. Do better. And maybe if you don’t like something, just hit “not interested” or just keep scrolling. Maybe, even stop following that person.
Lets not keep dishing out hate, just to get those 15 minutes of fame.